Get yo back off the wall.

I try not to write so much because i know if i do, a lot of people wont read it. We will see how this turns out.

When we were camping the other weekend a took a walk with Bret. I just needed someone to confess too. I said. "Man Bret, i don't know what to do. I am being totally controlled by my sin and i have no power over it. I have struggled for months and months in this epic battle and have lost every day. Day in and day out it owns my life. I cant do anything to change it. So i came here this weekend to dedicate this weekend to God. To apologize to him. And to ask him for his help. To admit i cant do it. To admit that only he has the power to change me. And its so easy. Its so easy to be at a Nav event like this and not be controlled by my sin. Its so easy to be here and tell myself ok this is the new beginning. God has lead me to victory. But this isn't the real world. Sunday night i am going to be driving back to the real world. I'm going to be going back to the distractions. Back to the temptations. Back to what i can only see is certain failure."

What i didn't know was that being so honest to not only Bret, but to God has truly allowed that weekend to be a new beginning. More then ever before have i been able to let God control my life. More then ever have i been able to see the way out of temptation and stand up under it. More then ever have i turned to god and asked him what he wanted out of many given situations. Randy's will is to do evil. Randy's will is to fall into temptation. Randy's will is to enjoy sin. God's will is to lead me from temptation. God's will is to flee from evil. God's will is for me to enjoy grace. I have given myself to the will of God more then ever before. In a situation where i would have normally pleaded that God give me this outcome, Instead, I have pleaded that God's will, be the outcome. I don't want to follow my own desires anymore. I want to walk the path God has laid out for me.

Of course i still struggle with life and everything in it. But God has defeated one of my largest struggles. God is so good. I talked a few post's back about punishment. Since that weekend camping, i have been blessed with the opposite. God has given me so many gifts since that weekend. The biggest being the ability to turn it all over to him, and let him lead my blind self down the path he wants me to follow.

I know this isn't a new discovery for most of the people that would read this. But if you have not yet experienced giving God control, i would suggest working towards that, because his love is amazing, and he will bless your life in so many ways.